Get in Loser, We’re Buying Sequin Dusters

When I saw “the stupid duster” pop up in my enablers..erm FB Fashion Group I knew I wasn’t going to get it.

Nope.

“You might have pulled one over me when it came to the wide-leg, high-waisted sweatpants (ie: the stupid pants) but not this time.”

But with every new, glittering post I felt my resolve slipping.

“I don’t look like a Christmas ornament. What if I want to look like a Christmas ornament!?”

The FOMO was real.

So earlier this week I found myself justifying the purchase of a full sequined duster because I had a Nordy’s note and obviously that forgives a myriad of sins.

Did I mention it’s my birthday in less than a month? See, I can talk my way into anything.

I finally received it today and rushed to try it on. First impression: I look like I raided Elton John’s closet.

And I don’t hate it.

Is it practical? Hell no. Does it make sense with a perma-drool Bebe hanging on my hip? That’s a rhetorical question. Am I going anywhere until roughly 2022? Probably not.

But look at that sparkle and shine! That champagne goodness that just makes you look at feel like a good bottle of bubbly. Who am I to deny myself such happiness?! If 2020 has taught me anything it’s that life is absurd and people are very concerned about running out of toilet paper. If a sequined duster brings me joy why not keep the damn duster? It can be my special occasion duster. The kid-free duster. The duster I bust out the first time we go out to eat…which will probably be to a diner but whatever I’ll look hella chic tucking into my gluten chocolate chip pancakes because I have the refined palate of a preschooler. Ok, maybe I’ll have to cover my duster in napkins to protect her, but it will have been worth it damnit!

Crap, I think I’m keeping the duster.

(Note about sizing: Since it doesn’t close, if you’re between sizes, size down. I’m a M-L and the M is perfect. Warning: it’s heavy and hot! The one downside because I’m a #sweatykid.)

x Mere